Do
you know how vulnerable your child became when he/she agreed to perform a piano
piece in public? Performance of any kind
is a huge step for any of us, and especially for a young student still learning
all the ins and outs of life and trying to gain a foothold on relationships,
family pecking order and self esteem.
And
so they launched out. They chose to
perform in an event such as we had last Sunday.
He/She
became vulnerable. What an amazing show
of courage.
They
were willing to lay their musical skill on the line for that moment in time; to
put it all out there for an audience to see and hear.
And
what if they made a mistake while performing their piece?
The
world did not end.
They
did not faint.
They
did not get terminally ill.
They
just made a mistake.
Your
response?
First
acknowledge that vulnerability is not weakness.
Vulnerability
is courage of the highest order. It is emotional
risk, exposure, uncertainty.
When your child opens the door for a
vulnerable moment such as a musical performance, you are seeing courage. It takes guts to get up in front of parents,
siblings and strangers to perform. That
is tough for we adults as well. Imagine
what your child might be experiencing.
So our response, especially if they made
a flub?
“Wow, you
have worked hard and I am so proud of you.”
I’m not a huge fan of telling a child
some false bravado, like “You were perfect.”
But the words, “You did your best” or “you
gave it your all” go a long way in helping your child cope with
vulnerability emotions and feel good about where they are at that moment in
time.
And especially “I am so proud of you.”
Vulnerability is the birth-place for
innovation, creativity and change.
Nurture their vulnerability and watch the
change happen.
Carolyn Biggs
Steps and
Skips
Tips for
the Developing Musician
This week's tip is based on excerpts from Daring Greatly by
Brene Brown.
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