Juggling Life

A little food for thought...

In the middle of our busy lives how often do we pause long enough to consider our current state of being?  If you are a typical family of school age children you probably find yourself juggling any variety of activities like these:

School

 Ballet

  Swim

   Band/orchestra

    Church activities

     Homework

    Screen/monitor time

   Family meals

  After-school activities

 Piano practice

Travel time to and from the above

And then there's sleep.

Whew!  It makes me weary just remembering the challenge of juggling my own family's activities.  I've been in similar shoes, and like many of you, navigated family life while also employed full time. 

I am not a magic genie nor am I an efficiency expert, and would not dare try to tell you how to manage your family life. 

However, I want to encourage you to periodically take time to evaluate all that keeps you and your family in perpetual motion.  Sooner or later you have to manage your family schedule or your schedule will manage you. 

Every activity listed is a good and worthy pursuit.  Use wisdom and boundaries as you help your children learn how to balance work/play/rest.    And then what will be left?  Perhaps your sanity. 

Just some friendly food for thought. 

Carolyn Biggs

Steps and Skips

Tips for the Developing Student

Praise the Effort

We continue to look for ways to give your child reinforcement and recognition.  Again we dip into Carol Dweck’s book

Mindset.

If you want to give meaningful positive reinforcement, consider this.

Dweck sent four research assistants into the New York school system’s fifth grade classrooms.  One child from each class was selected to participate in a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of puzzles that were easy enough for all the children to do with relative ease. 

Once finished, the children were randomly placed in one of two groups. 

In one group each child was praised for their intelligence...“You must be smart at this. “ 

In the other group each child was praised for their effort...“You must have worked really hard.”

Next the two groups were given a choice of tests.  Each group was told they would learn a lot from attempting the puzzles, and some were easy and some were hard.

Of the students in the group who were praised for their effort, 90% chose the harder set of puzzles.  They used perseverance, and exercised confidence in their determination to see how much could be accomplished.

Of those who were praised for their intelligence, the majority chose the easy test.  Why?  In part, these students received praise for being smart before they were challenged to demonstrate their true skill level. 

Praise your child for making an effort.   As an adult, I still appreciate that kind of recognition.

Order MINDSET by clicking HERE

Carolyn Biggs

Did I Win?

Skill development is not a race to see who comes in first.  Skill development is all about best effort and learning along the way. 

Our two annual performances, Ivories and Ice Cream and New Years, New Tunes  are more about demonstrating what has been learned so far – never about outperforming another student. 

Again this week we dip into Carol Dweck’s book.  She says

this …

“’Did I win?  Did I lose?  Those are the wrong questions.  The correct question is “Did I make my best effort?’”

Carol continues … “If so, if you made your best effort, always remember this.  You may be outscored but you will never lose.”

I really like that.  It’s all about “best effort". 

Help develop this concept in your child and you will instill a lifelong, valuable character trait.

Carolyn Biggs

Steps and Skips

Tips for the Developing Student

The Value of Challenges

Carol Dweck, Ph.D., author of Mindset (a highly recommended read) offers this quote:

“If parents want to give their children a gift, 

the best thing they can do is to teach their 

children to love challenges, be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning.  

That way, their children don’t have to be slaves 

of praise.  They will have a lifelong way to 

build and repair their own confidence.”

~Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D.

We live in an age when it seems children often receive false praise because that is the "nice" thing to do.  According to Carol Dweck, Ph.D., this is a gross mis-representation of real- life experiences as an adult. 

Of course we want to build the self-esteem of our children, but in the rush to do so we zoom past the more critical learning process that cultivates problem-solving skills and a core foundation of working hard to achieve our goals.  Most of life’s goals are not easily accomplished.

I've never known a musician who played perfectly from the beginning of their musical career.  Making mistakes is an inevitable reality. 

By teaching children how to put forth a true sense of effort

we can raise up a generation of smart, capable individuals who are able to reason out perplexing problems, embrace challenges and navigate difficult places in life. 

Order YOUR copy of Mindset - Click Here

Carolyn Biggs

Steps and Skips

Tips for the Developing Student